One week on to a new life in Montreal

WE have been living in Montreal for less than I week and this is what I hear in the backseat of my car after we pick the kids up from daycare:

“Mama, there were four bullies at school. I hit a girl who called me stupid.”

“Ronin, you never hit a girl!” Sean said.

“Ronin, no hit the stupid girl.” Autumn pines.

“Autumn, don’t say stupid. It is an ugly word,” Ronin said.

“BITCH!” screams Autumn.

Sean and I look at one another and I assure him that word has not come out of my mouth. A lot of four-letters come out my mouth but not that one.

“Autumn, use pretty words.” I say.

“I’m f@cking you!” Autumn says.

Sean and I look at one another. I did say FU on the drive up 87 somewhere around exit 30 in the Adirondacks because I thought a truck was going to hit me.

“Daddy, did you hear what Autumn said?” Ronin states.

“Yes Ronin. We have to teach her to use pretty words because she doesn’t know what
she is saying.” Sean explains.

“Autumn – say PUMPKIN!” Ronin commands. He knows this will distract her and he uses this a lot of get her to do things he wants versus what she wants.

“Pumpkin!” Autumn chimes.

“1.2.3 say Pumpkin!” Ronin says.

“Pumpkin” we all say.

“Pumpkins are orange and they are a fruit.” I add.

“Oh!” Autumn says. Two minutes pass. A lot of jibber-jabber.

“Mama. I’m f@cking you?” Autumn says.

“Pumpkin!” We all answer!