"Play with me!"

Autumn’s Godparents and good friends Phil and Diana visited us on Sunday. When Ronin awoke from his nap and saw Diana he ran right over to her and hugged her! She asked for a kiss and Ronin happily abided. He loves Diana and Phil and Sean and I were thrilled to see how happy he was to se them. Ronin immediately started to dance and show them his “moves.” After a half and hour passed I asked Ronin if he was hungry and he said YES! Thrilled that he was interested in eating I made him 2 chicken legs, carrots and mashed potatoes. They continued to coo over the baby and “fly” Ronin all over the house. Ronin learned the meaning of fly and would flop his hands around and say “fly - fly- fly”. After Phil got tired of flying Ronin around we settled on a quiet activity and Ronin asked to play with “play! DO!” He then said to Diana and me “Play with me?” Again being the thrilled parents with his use of multiple words – we nurtured his desires. Ronin is also constantly asking to “count?” with the aid of fish crackers and grapes. He lines them up and Sean and I count them and he eats them. He has 2 down really well now.

3 word sentences

Ronin calls a lot of things “ba.” A sheep says “baaaah” .. a bottle is a “ba-ba” a bagel is a “ba” and sometimes a “beh” … a baby is a “baby”… a banana is a “mey-mey” (why? We are still not sure but he SWEARS that it is … anyway … Yesterday we discovered that a “ba” is also a blanket. Ronin pointed to the blanket and said “ba” and then motioned his hand and said “down” and then said “floor.” So I said, “Ronin, do you want mama to place the blanket on the floor?” He then jumped up and said “YES! I did it! I said it! I did it!” Each phase was met with another jump for emphasis. His wishes were understood and I was more then willing to make his 2 year old dreams come true.

Love You MA and Baba O'Riley

This morning my son said "love you Ma!" as Sean carried him down the stairs to have some grapes and puffed rice wheels before school. I asked Sean if he heard Ronin say that - and Sean said yes! Sean also said that Ronin has NEVER said that to him -even though they are closer. I was so happy that - it made my day! Ronin and I have gotten closer since I started to take him to day-care/school in the mornings and we have some private time. We talk in the car and sing songs. Ronin loves Baba O'Riley - yes The Who. I played him that song this morning and he started drumming on the map book. I asked him if he liked the song and he said YES and started to sway and dance as much as he could in the car seat.

weekend update

Weekend was good - Godfather visited from Boston and Ronin was VERY affectionate towards him. Sean, Mike and Ronin went grocery shopping for the family. Ronin was fun and is talking non-stop - we now exist in 2 word sentences. “me down”, “cat down”, “me up”, “my baby”, and then there was the "OH NO no P" when he watched me change his sister's diaper. The "NO P" seemed a big big deal for him - so when he is older we will explain the differences - fancy on the inside vs the outside. Ronin has now taken to identifying his P whenever he can – which is usually before bath. And I think that is great as he is learning his body. He now knows shoulders and elbows and knees. He brushes his teeth every night. He loves to read at least 4 books before bed and when he hears a sound – he identifies it as SOUND. He will touch something and say TOUCH and will let me know if it is SOFT. When he understands something he says I KNOW. And he played in the snow. Sean and I gave up on the snow pants and boots and let him out in sweats and sneakers. Sean shuttled him around in a sled and Ronin loved it. He calls snow SCHNOW!! But we wouldn’t let him out in it on Sunday as he refuses gloves and we are standing our ground on that one! Autumn- chicken is either sleeping through the night or only waking once around 6am - so this mama is not complaining! Now if I could just get Ronin to do that we would all sleep great!

updates on Autumn & Ronin

So much is new. I started work on Monday and joining the daily grind again has been HARD but not too bad. I miss Autumn so completely that after I put Ronin to sleep I hold her from 6-9pm. I eat dinner with one hand and try to squeeze an entire day of love into 3 hours. I don’t see her in the mornings unless I am driving her to mom’s house. I also don’t see Ronin in the mornings if I drive Autumn so I enjoy when I get to drop him off at Day-care because he likes to show me his room.

I believe in my heart that mom’s that work suffer more – emotionally and physically. If I felt sick then I could still take care of Autumn and just be home – or even run errands – but when I am sick at work I have to be ON and smart and engaging and that is simply exhausting. The pressure is earth-shattering to me. But I do what I have to do.

I also miss so much of Autumn during the day – the time to pass on wisdom and love and share in her first sounds and expressions and emotions. I existed solely in a bubble of her love for 10 weeks – her smiles were for me – her happiness was generated by me – her needs were met by me – now I share her with my mother and my husband and her smiles and love are for others.

She is a sweet sweet soul.

Ronin started a new daycare on February 1st. His transition was minimal and he is a well adjusted and social kid. He walked right in – grabbed a big yellow bus and started playing. He labels everything and speaks endlessly. His latest expressions are “I did it!” “I got it!” “I found it!” “I know!” Objects “fall down” now and he understands the concept of sound. He is always looking out for baby and likes to pat her on the head and hug her – around the belly. When I dropped Ronin at daycare on Wednesday – he gave me a kiss – said “olive-vu” and gave me a kiss. When he said “bu-bye” all the kids stated waving and saving “bye” as well. Ronin got mad and said “my MAMA!” so that everyone knew who I was. I felt claimed and proud and rode that feeling all day.